What to do

not sure where to take this I haven't dressed for a long time got rid of all my stuff I'm confused with my sexuality I love girls desperately want to meet and find one for sex and love, I'm increasingly drawn to guys that dress as girls I want to make love to a guy even make love with one it feels wrong but right at the same time, it really turns me on. I've met a TV she was lovely and we kissed passionately I loved that but we didn't have sex both tired (I'd been awake since 4am we met late at night) and by the time she'd stopped to find a condom I'd lost my hard on and couldn't get it back, I want to meet her again but my mind tells me it is wrong but my body says otherwise