The cross dressing dilemma we all deal with

I love being fem. The more often I dress the more I need to and want to. There are days (like today) where I desperately crave to be noticed and desired as a woman. It feels absolutely wonderful. But I confess that there are also days, after three years of dressing regularly, that I think that my dressing doesn't make sense and I should stop for good. These down time periods usually only last two or three days. After that, once I pull on a silky pair of stockings and put on my bra, I am back in fem heaven. Now, I haven't come close to purging my clothes during these down periods because I know from experience that Candi will be back soon with a vengeance. Besides, I have so many fem clothes now that it would be quite a chore to get rid of them all (not to mention the expense to replace them when Candi returns). I really wish that Candi would be permanently on top so that the yoyo effect would stop. Nowadays, I truly get more joy from femininity than from my male self. And to be clear, I have a wonderful life as a male. I have a wonderful and understanding wife, great grown up kids, a good job - really I am blessed with no major issues. Still, when I am fem, I am more relaxed, less likely to flare up in anger, and just feel so much warmer inside.

I guess only time will tell if Candi eventually wins the day. Until then, the yoyo continues.