a positive day

today has been a strange one in many ways. I woke up full of the joys of spring. Rachel looked to be a happy girl. then things nosedived to the deepest depths of despair. a meeting with a nurse for the wife left things in turmoil. health issues rearing their ugly head again. I went and had a soak in a cool bath which was very unusual as I normally have the water as hot as the skin will allow. after finished I went to a meeting where many things regarding Rachel were discussed . how to go forward, how to let others know, how to keep things on an amicable level, what could go wrong etc.

an hour passed by in no time. the young lady sat opposite me was young enough to be my grand daughter yet she talked so much sense and listened to what I was saying. she came up with numerous ideas and in a manner that wasn't telling me to do anything got me thinking. I had gone into the meeting feeling as low as I ever had done. the lady said as the meeting was drawing to an end that she wanted to know how I felt now.

I sat there for a minute and thought about what she had asked. how did I feel? what was my head saying? what was my heart saying?. I eventually said I had come in feeling low but was leaving feeling a lot higher. not on cloud nine but better than I did earlier. I paused and she "and". I said that this meeting had made up my mind on one thing. I was not going to wait much longer before telling all around me that Rachel is going to become a real person in all walks of life, not just who I knew I was inside but will be visible to every one. no more male clothing the change will happen this week and my family, friends, other people I know through everyday life and those in business can like it or leave it.

at the moment I feel happier than I have done for years as I feel a giant step has been taken. no more worries about how others feel , it is all about how Rachel feels.