Disappointed yet happy
I woke up this morning thinking I was coming out of an operation. The operation to make me fully female inside and out. I felt I was in a ward with other ladies in hospital. When I looked around my spirits dropped. I was home. Still in my male body which I hate with except my slowly growing breasts.
I then started thinking that there was one big positive about this morning.
AT LEAST I KNEW MY SUBCONSIOUS SELF WANTED TO GO THE WHOLE WAY
There have been times when I thought that it is something I couldnt do. Something that maybe I didnt want to do. Maybe I was happy to stay as I am. Other times I have sat thinking what it would be like to be fully female. Wishing it would happen and wishing it had happened years ago so I wouldn't be sat here in a male body.
Now I know my inner self in my mind wants to go the whole way. I am sat here now with a smile on my face knowing where I am going in the future come what may.
The disappointment of realising I was home and not in the ward has gone. A sense of complete happiness no surrounds me inside and out. My mind content i knowing what it wants.
Rachel is now a happy bunny with her mind set , her thoughts set and all looking positive to the future.
- 2 Dec, 2018
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