When to come out?

Back in January I wrote a blog entitled "What a Crazy Road." This is a continuation of that blog and I hope to get replies with your opinions, thoughts and experiences. Especially from those in the Trans community.

Picking up from where that blog left off, Alexis, is not content being the second place person in my body. In fact over the last couple weeks I have been researching and contemplating ways that Alexis would be the only personality. As well as the more permanent methods of physical changes.

I notice that I no long find any arousal when I see women. But am checking out their dressing style, makeup, hair styles and mannerisms. In fact my wife having no interest in sexy has become fine with me.

From my feminine side, I used to only be interested in men because they had a penis. But now I notice physical characteristics that I find attractive as well as others that are not. Could I be developing what my type of man is.

Up until recently Alexis only met guys from out of town, but last week met a guy from within 30 miles (50 km). This to me seem like I am being less closeted and exposing Alexis more. Nothi g major in any one area is changing but a lot of little things are cropping up.

Where does all this put me? Is my need to be Alexis worth losing a marriage, have to likely relocate and pretty much ensure I never get to see my kids again?

These are the questions and answers I struggle with.