Confused at first
For so long I’d slept
While he battled demons
But my safety he’d kept

I awoke carefully
He was almost ready
I entered his dreams
Slowly, gently, but steady

Uncertainty, confusion
I sensed these from him
Rightness, comfort, belonging
These became my hymn

Finally, understanding
Within him it dawned
And now a dilemma
For both of us has spawned

I was pushed into the depths
Along with the abuse
Slept waiting uneasy
Thru years of alcohol use

He faced those demons
In battles severe
Getting up when he fell
He managed to persevere

I like to think it was for me
That somehow he knew
Though buried deep within him
He fought for me too

I cry his tears
And he cries mine
Our feelings are jumbled
They all intertwine

I’m afraid, alone
There’s so much to know
In need of a friend
Oh where can I go?


His spouse I do love
But she refuses to see
Too hung up on labels
To be seen with me

Alone I continue
Within him I wait
Hoping that someday
Friendships I’ll rate

I feel hopeless, helpless
Utterly trapped
I’m not sure why
I haven’t completely snapped

I wonder and fear
Will I ever get the chance
To be myself
And live life’s dance

Then I get time
The chance to come out
It’s wondrous, fulfilling
I just want to shout

I am a part of, but
Who he should have been
I need my life too
Is that truly a sin?

Then looking out of his eyes
To see the life that he’s made
Do I have the right
To pull down that shade?

We are one, but separate
We must find a balance
To satisfy both
Will require much valiance