The compulsion to dress and seek out people to share it with

This first blog is a little bit about me and why I crossdress.I am 67 years old and have been crossdressing since I was an early teenager. I do not know what drew me to my mum's drawers full of panties, tights, bras and petticoats, but once I slipped on the panties and tights and experienced the feel of nylon, lace and satin on my skin I knew there was no turning back. I am sure my mum knew, but nothing was ever said. I am sure they hoped that I would just grow out of it, I never did. Back in the 60s there was no internet and so my exploration of crossdressing was very solitary. I also had a sister who was 5 years older than me and her dresses fit me almost perfectly during those early years.I was about 16 when I had my first experience with a man. I often used to love to wear panties under my normal clothes when I was out and it was on such an occasion that I needed to take a pee and so went into a public toilet. I didn't know when I went into the toilets that it was a place where men went into for sex in one form or another. I went to a urinal unzipped my pants pulled my penis out of my panties and started to take a piss and as I was peeing I noticed that the only other occupant was looking over at me and stroking his erect penis. He made no effort to hide what he was doing and I was mesmerized by the show he was putting on, so much so that I started playing with myself. Now I had never thought of myself as gay and even as I was getting hard watching him I don't know that I came to any realization about that. He could see that I was masturbating and came over to the urinal next to mine and well without going into a lot of detail that day was the first time another man touched me or that I touched, kissed and gave a blow job to another man. I felt guilty about doing this, but at the same time I loved the experience.Over the years I have had girlfriends and have been married for 29 years and I have also crossdressed on and off during this period and had relationships with men as well. I came to realize that I was a bisexual crossdresser and have become content with that label. The topic of crossdressing has come up with my wife on a few occasions through something on the tele and she always dismisses it saying she does not understand it, based upon that I have never let her know my desires. The desire to crossdress has increased as I have become older as has the desire to share this with others.I hope you found this at least a little bit interesting and if so I will write about some of my more intimate experiences over the years.