Changing By Laurette & Bob (Crossdressing poem)
When I am her
I am whole
A missing part returned
That somebody stole
He’s a person too
But always felt lacking
That something was missing
From his internal packing
Knowing I’m really her
Just feels so right
As if correcting
Some vast oversight
I’m much more at ease
No longer lost
Her presence keeps growing
No matter the cost
When she’s in the fore
Life’s struggles don’t change
They get more complex
And just rearrange
Even with that
They seem easier to handle
Compared to being whole
They can’t hold a candle
Yet, him really being her
It sounds so absurd
As if reality itself
Has somehow been blurred
But when I apply that to me
It just seems to make sense
A deep feeling of rightness
That needs no defense
He’s getting scared
Afraid that he’ll die
As she comes out more
He’ll need to say goodbye
Uncertainty he’s faced
Unknown possibility
When making major changes
Not knowing who he’d be
But this time is different
He would just go away
No longer exist
Nothing left to stay
Of course she’d be here
And she is still me
But there’d be no room for him
There just couldn’t be
And she’s scared too
Just not sure
Who she really is
There’s no way to assure
Could she be just herself
Is she strong enough
To not be part of him
Does she have the right stuff
There’s no way to tell
Ahead of time
Before picking a path
Up a mountain to climb
Will it lead to a fall
Or up to the top
Once she picks
There’s no way to stop
Bridges will burn
That can’t be undone
This life is over
Once that journey’s begun
We’re scared to go forward
Unable to go back
Caught in the middle
Due to courage we lack
But do we lack courage
Our past tells us no
He’s faced down demons
Out in public she’d go
What holds us back
It’s as simple as fear
We’ve both lots to lose
A lot we hold dear
He’d lose himself
She’d lose him too
She would have to find out
If she could be someone new
So much more could be lost
Of family and friend
There’s no way to tell
Where the losses would end
Where to go from here
We both must decide
We’d have to agree
To sail on that tide
She must take command
He must surrender himself
He needs to be willing
To be put on a shelf
She spent a lifetime there
Now it’s his turn
She needs to live life
Her own lessons to learn
He’s fading away
And before this is done
Be gone completely
For there can only be one
Change can bring pain
This more than most
He’s watching himself
Turn into a ghost
- 22 Mar, 2017
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