Confused at first

For so long I’d slept

While he battled demons

But my safety he’d kept


I awoke carefully

He was almost ready

I entered his dreams

Slowly, gently, but steady


Uncertainty, confusion

I sensed these from him

Rightness, comfort, belonging

These became my hymn


Finally, understanding

Within him it dawned

And now a dilemma

For both of us has spawned


I was pushed into the depths

Along with the abuse

Slept waiting uneasy

Thru years of alcohol use


He faced those demons

In battles severe

Getting up when he fell

He managed to persevere


I like to think it was for me

That somehow he knew

Though buried deep within him

He fought for me too


I cry his tears

And he cries mine

Our feelings are jumbled

They all intertwine


I’m afraid, alone

There’s so much to know

In need of a friend

Oh where can I go?


His spouse I do love

But she refuses to see

Too hung up on labels

To be seen with me


Alone I continue

Within him I wait

Hoping that someday

Friendships I’ll rate


I feel hopeless, helpless

Utterly trapped

I’m not sure why

I haven’t completely snapped


I wonder and fear

Will I ever get the chance

To be myself

And live life’s dance


Then I get time

The chance to come out

It’s wondrous, fulfilling

I just want to shout


I am a part of, but

Who he should have been

I need my life too

Is that truly a sin?


Then looking out of his eyes

To see the life that he’s made

Do I have the right

To pull down that shade?


We are one, but separate

We must find a balance

To satisfy both

Will require much valiance