Shopping and Hiking

Last week, I dressed as casually as possible to blend in as an unremarkable woman. I wanted to drive to the Spar and Action shops in Barvaux, a village near Durbuy. Durbuy is famous for being the smallest official "city" in the world. Durbuy attracts many people, especially during tourist season, and it can also get crowded in neighboring, mid-sized Barvaux.

I don't like shopping in the grocery store next to the church in my small, unknown village where I live. Their selection is limited, but it serves daily needs. However, the prices are high, so I go to the neighboring village, which has many more competitive shops and choices. One of these shops is Action, which is part of a European chain that sells all sorts of items at very low prices, including cosmetics. I find their products to be of satisfactory quality. I had bought cosmetics there before, when I wore male outfits. 

During my previous purchases, I noticed that the cashier didn't care what the male customer was buying. The cosmetics, bra, and beauty mirror that I had put in front of her to make them invisible to other customers were scanned as if I were buying a hammer, screws, and aftershave. I always felt a bit awkward browsing the cosmetics aisle, though I kept telling myself not to care what others thought. 

This time, however, I would go out "en femme" in casual stealth mode. I wore blue jeans and a warm beige coat. It was still a bit cold for the time of year. I also wanted to end my day with a two-hour walk in a beautiful nearby forest. While shopping, I wore black ankle boots with two-inch heels, but I brought white walking shoes for the planned itinerary in the woods. 

The man who is always sitting in a folding chair in front of the Action shop greeted me as the door slid open. It felt good to head straight in my heels to the cosmetics corner and stand there, looking at the products. I also looked for hangers, as my dress collection seems to be growing wildly and for some paper handkerchiefs for my runny nose. I walked back to the cashier, and the young lady smiled and said, "Bonjour." Meanwhile, another customer queued up, but I didn't pay attention to him. I'm not sure if he did to me. A beep acknowledged that I had paid by card, and I had still enough money left in the bank. After putting my purchases in the trunk of the car, I headed to the grocery store a few steps away. 

It's called Spar and is part of the larger Colruyt retail chain, which is better known around the world, I guess. I passed through sliding doors again to enter and headed to the corner with milk-based products for some yogurt, a main ingredient in my not-too-strict vegetarian lifestyle lately. After frequenting several places, I pay less attention to the people passing by. However, my subconscious brain still sends me unwanted signals about "the others" and what they might think. I try to ignore these signals because I know I shouldn't care. However, I feel that I am still out of my comfort zone. It may take me more time to reprogram my subconscious mind.

To most bystanders, I probably look like a woman with some male traits, if they pay attention. After all, this lady has rather big hands and a big running nose. She also has wider shoulders. However, it must be said that most of the women in the shop—if not all—were considerably fatter than me. They lacked female curves, despite having smaller noses and more elegant hands, not sure if they also suffered from runny noses. 

At the register, the cashier said nothing, or I must have missed her "bonjour" while I was unloading my bag and placing the items on the conveyor belt. I simply waved my card again while she activated the terminal, which beeped, interrupting the silence. As I left the shop, the -to my ears- enjoyable sound of my heels clacking on the floor guided me to the exit. I had no interaction with anyone. Even as a man, I often have no interaction with people, so this aspect is unrelated to being "en femme." I'm not into small talk anyway and can be impatient, so this was the perfect shopping experience for me.

I drove to the forest and parked my car in a cute nearby village that used to have a grocery store, but it shut down about a year ago. I guess you can’t survive when the locals all go to the cheaper Spar. Most of the houses are rented by tourists who stay for a week or just the weekend. Due to the cold weather and it not really being tourist season yet, I was almost alone when I started my walk. I left the small village center, which still has two cafés and a museum about megaliths — since there are many megalithic sites in the area — and headed for the woods.

I walked about seven miles, passing some megalithic rocks and enjoying some of the area's most beautiful views. I’m grateful to be able to live here. In a way, this isolated green area makes me feel as free as a cross-dressed bird. There were steep climbs that I wished I could fly over. Luckily, the low temperatures prevented sweat from developing under my wig while I gasped for air. I met two men with dogs on a leash. They greeted me, and I smiled back. It was a beautiful way to enjoy the scenery, the peace, and the birdsong along my walk while the light and time faded away in the early evening. 

Going out, whether casual or dressed up, is so addictive! 
Carpe diem, Maila