Unmasking the Myth

When do you get to the point of no return? When is it too late to turn back the hands of time? When is it going to be safe to be Deñi whenever I want, not just those instances when I can scare away some free time and search for willing partners? To be able to freely answer my phone as Deñi and not worry about who I’m talking to. No, I haven’t reached that magical time in my existence, not yet.

What would unmasking the myth entail? It all started with sites like S***t and F*****e for me. For years it was fine to just have a few pics, mostly of my c*** and never my face. We all know that the person attached to that c*** doesn’t want to be found out. Unless you are the super liberal “gay” guy who doesn’t care and has been out since junior high. It matters that your friends and neighbors shouldn’t know that you like sucking or getting your c*** sucked by another willing man. I also know that having the persona of a woman eases the pain of real life that under that skirt is a d***, not a pu**y. I think we’d all prefer it to be a pu**y, but that’s got to be a whole other blog.  

First it was the sheer thought of wearing a girl’s panties. Easy enough, you could find them lying around near any laundry basket. They are certainly too small for your manly ass, but that didn’t deter the fact that you would try on her things. The dirty ones are even more valued. Holding them up and inhaling the aroma of a woman’s private area is erotic to say the least. We all have more than likely had that incident in childhood when we were caught sniffing undies. I’m sure if the makers of poppers could duplicate that smell they would bottle it. It’s musky and pungent and you can’t stop doing it. They do nothing to flatter your appearance and they probably bind around your beefy thighs. Maybe you got a hold of a woman’s everyday panties, you know, full coverage briefs or even bloomers. The silk feel on a hard c*** is addictive. 

I graduated to wearing everything, but still, I’m a man in panties. Desperately wanting to be the “chick with a dick”, I’ll settle for semi passable. Some things cannot be changed, even with surgeries and hormones. Unless you have a ton of surgeries and many hormones. And would I miss my dick if it weren’t there? Splice it open like a piece of shrimp, ready to be stuffed. What about the guys who like reaching under my skirt to feel my hard d***? A ton of men, and I mean a literal ton of them feel excited when they rub my bone. Most of the time it’s only half hard when I’m dressed because I emphasize being a servant, not being the server. Size doesn’t matter to me really, even erections are something I’m going to live with. Some guys medically can’t get hard, but you can get excited, it does grow, even if it’s only a bit.

 I started taking some pictures about two years into being Deñi. Why not? It’s good to be able to look back at where I came from. I still never showed my face. I’d crop the pics or only show shots from the back side. My a** and legs are my better parts anyways. Covid strikes and we all wear masks. Great, I bought masks with female faces on them, bingo baby. Now I can feel free to show myself more and more. I hate the mask and love the masking, seem strange? Eventually, I tire of it. Now I’m concentrating more and more on making my face presentable. I have a chubby face, a man’s chubby face at that. I need to shave early in the morning and if I’m going out at night I shave again. Nothing like the feel of whiskers on your testicles. 

I’ve purchased a good amount of makeup, invested in sugar waxing for hair removal, coconut oil moisturizing cream, I take hair and nail gummies vitamins and wear a girdle type garment almost every day. In other words, I’m doing what I can do when I can do it. I’m walking a couple miles a day for weight loss exercise, eating less than 1600 calories a day and drinking a ton of water. So far, I’ve lost 7.5 lbs, trying to lose 50 before the end of the year. Lofty goal, but if I make it, maybe Deñi fulltime will be the reward, who knows. If I have time, I apply foundation and contouring makeup. I can then do blush over top. I have only done my eyes once or twice. When I did, I took pics so I can easily photoshop my own eyes in pictures to help my look. Remember, half the pics aren’t even my breasts either and every hairpiece is just that, a hair piece. Cross dressers live in an illusion filled world. Things may change with Deñi fulltime, who knows for sure.