Where do I fit?

Where does one fit?

I recently had text conversations with several cross dressers that got my attention. So my curious mind began to question one’s motivation for cross dressing. I know there are many, many different feelings regarding the subject. So I questioned my motivation regarding what several of the main reasons one inspires to cross dress. Here is what the research provided me. Emotional release, stress relief, self-expression, and enjoyment of fashion, often providing a sense of peace or freedom from rigid gender norms. Well I don’t know where most of our members fit, but I know I’m a bit complicated. When one speaks of sexual gratification from cross dressing, I get lost. I don’t question one’s reasons for cross dressing, I can only share mine.

I think I might fall under self expression. My feelings to be more feminine goes deep. I could cross dress 24/7. I not only enjoy women, but secretly desire to be one. The daily task of applying moisturizers, makeup, and other daily issues as applying lip stick as need be, etc. It excites me with pleasure and desires of woman hood. I observe the way women walk, sit, talk, the sway of their hips, arm and hand motions, their smiles, posture and facial expressions. I envy everything about them. So I try to emulate them whenever possible, even down to washing one’s face or putting on a mask.

So looking like a woman and feeling like a woman is my inner feeling. That’s hard to turn on one minute and turn off the next. I don’t get sexual gratification, emotional relief or stress relief, but I do get fashion and feminine interest, which does provide a sense of peace and freedom from gender norms. When dressing, which is often every day? I feel the desire of being with a man. I feel very much as a woman, the safety and security a man provides comforts me. That perhaps is where my sexual interest kicks in. But cross dressing does not give me sexual pleasure.

Finally, not sure how to describe me. Very rarely do I get totally dressed up meaning dress, slip, nylons, bra, makeup, and the works. I do wash my face and moisturizer twice a day. Normally shave everything twice a week and apply nail polish etc. Most of the time I wear feminine shorts, t-shirts, casual dresses or leggings, around the house.  Very little makeup!

So where do I fit? I welcome your comments and definitely your thoughts about where one fits. I’m not sure where we go as cross dressers, but I am sure we will get there. Questioning where you fit might just be the compass that guides you to the right destination. I know many of you are already there and can help many of us who are still navigating our journey. God Bless!