cindylanecd – Crossdresser from Deltona

I've started crossdressing since around 6-7 years old. I've gone through many phases of secretly dressing to purging & back to dressing up again. I married and i decided to open up to my love of my life recently, & to my surprise wife was pretty understanding. So ever since I told her about a week ago, I have really gone crazy with exploring my Femme side. She woke up to me in her clothes, & noticed that i have been wearing her underwear & clothes under my guy clothes almost everyday now. I shaved all of my body hair, and painted my toe nails too. So maybe i should try to slow done, cause she was a bit surprised by my sudden change...because i explained at first that this was just a "every once in a while thing" you know the old metaphor of trying to hold a balloon under water & it just keeps rising up, well that is kind of how i explained it to her, & it was true. But now, given the opportunity to dress without being looked at with disgust, i am feeling finally free to explore my own femme desires, and as such, have taken Every opportunity to do so. She asks, "i thought this was every once in while and now she does not like it. And well i thought it was too, but idk.....I am conflicted with opposing feelings in this matter as always. At times I strive to be as femme as possible, intensified with my sexual arousal, but when i ***, it is like a surge of testosterone hits me, & says " WTF are you Doing ? " Then i take the clothes off and wonder why i did that.....a little latter & Bam, Brandi is back ? I am torn between my two halves, i feel like i have a split personality disorder...lol.....but idk....Anyway, i believe this is slightly normal situation for CD'ers, but I am really anxious for any advice, since i have Never spoke or met with anyone who could possibly understand me & my ...dilemma