Just some thoughts

I'm trying to figure out more about what I want and why I dress. I love the clothes; the dresses, stockings, heels, panties, lingerie. But I would never get rid of my male clothes or go full time crossdresser. I don't feel like I should be or emulate a female. I know I am a male. If I was out crossdressed I would go to the men's bathroom. I am emotionally and sexually attracted to women. I could go top or bottom, dom or sub. I am not attracted to men. I do however like being sexy for men and being sexually objectified by men. I don't have a lot of experience with it, but I enjoyed sucking on a mans **** and would like to suck more and bigger onces. I want to try letting a guy **** me. I would like to try having sex with more than one guy at a time. But I can only do this with a guy if I feel sexy and I only feel that way when I am dressed. I don't have anywhere I am going with this right now. I am just trying to put things in words.